


You're Okay

by pllants



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Self-Harm, Slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 16:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2236215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pllants/pseuds/pllants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma's life is a mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Have to Get Out

                It didn’t start off as something that was so aggressively **horrible**. It wasn’t good, and he was aware it was unhealthy, but he had always felt like he had some sense of control over it. It eased his nerves, albeit for a short time, but it was worth it, in his mind. He never thought he would go farther than a couple of scratches on his upper thighs or stomach. He sure as hell thought nobody would find out.

                Today was the day that Kenma Kozume lost control.

                The day started off, well, normal.  He was on his way home from a late practice, Kuroo walking alongside him. They were pretty quiet at the moment; they didn’t need to exchange idle words. Kuroo was probably mulling over the practice, and Kenma just wanted to lie down and ease his sore muscles. When they got to the split pathway signaling they would split ways, Kenma raised his hand in goodbye.

                Kuroo raised his hand as he walked away, “See ya at school tomorrow,” he called behind him.

                Kenma grunted in response even though his friend was probably too far away by now to hear him, and walked down the sidewalk towards his home.  Taking out a pair of earbuds as he walked, he quickly drowned out the sound of his own steps, staring quietly ahead.

                He didn’t feel like something was off right away, rather, he felt something was turning at the back of his head. He tried not to think of it, but after a while he turned down his music so that he could hear if something was up. Nothing.  He was the only one on the sidewalk.

                He continued at a normal pace, dismissing it as his nerves acting up. When he saw his house in sight, he relaxed completely.

                He walked inside to see the lights were completely off aside from one in the kitchen. He frowned, setting down his bag and making his way over to the light, his stomach tightening.  Something was definitely off.

                He wasn’t prepared to see what he saw. Broken glass littered the floor, a hole in the wall, and his father sitting at the table, alchohol in hand, staring with glazed eyes ahead. He hadn’t given any signal to acknowledge he was aware of Kenmas presence.

                Throat constricting and a suddenly very dry mouth made it very difficult  for Kenma to speak. Eventually he managed to utter a small sentence, “W-what happened….?”

                Ignoring Kenmas question, his father looked up at him with the same glassy eyes. “Ah, Kenma, son… How was practice?”

                “Father, what happened? Wheres mom?” Kenma repeated more urgently.

                Kenma flinched when his father’s hand suddenly slammed into the table.

                “Doesn’t matter. That bitch doesn’t need to be in this house anymore! Fucking cunt,”

                Fear pulsed through Kenma, along with a hot anger at the bottom of his stomach. He knew that whatever had happened while he was at practice had been his father’s doing. His kindhearted mother could never be the cause of this.

                Kenma jumped as his father suddenly stood up, the glass of alcohol still in his hand. He approached the much shorter boy until his nose was practically touching his face, and Kenma was leaning backward to avoid the stench of his breath.

                “This is your fault, too. If it weren’t for you being so-“  He poked his son roughly in the stomach, “so unappealing to be around, maybe we would have been happier together.”

                ‘ _How could this possibly be… my fault? What happened?_ ’ Kenma shook his head. This wasn’t his fault. His father was drunk and intoxicated and what he was saying had no meaning.

                “You’re wrong, this is your fault,” He said, a sentence he would soon regret.

                His father didn’t react right away. First he had to think about what Kenma said, and then he had to figure out that he was being insulted. He then had to cock his arm back and swing.

                Kenma didn’t realize he had been hit with a glass until he was staring up at the bright ceiling and his father was staring down at him, saying something in an angry tone that Kenma couldn’t decipher because the world was spinning way too fast. He felt sick.

                “-at what you made me do.” the garbled words said, dancing around the room, “You damn brat.”

                He felt a foot connect to his chest and he gasped as the wind was knocked out of him. Then it came again. And again.  Kenma couldn’t get a single breath or say anything except for choked sobs as blow after blow made contact with his body.  It kept coming and Kenma looked up at his father and saw his eyes were dead and angry at the same time, but he imagined he saw tears coming out as well.

                _Please stop._

                Why was this happening to him? He hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t. There was nothing he had done wrong. He didn’t deserve this.

                _Please make it stop._

                And then it did. He didn’t know if he blacked out or if his father had just left that quickly, but suddenly it was quiet. He laid on the floor, chest hurting and taking shallow, short breaths. Everything hurt. He turned his head and saw blood dripped near the floor. More than likely his own. He wished he were dead.

                He didn’t know how long he laid there. It could have been ten minutes or an hour, but either way at some point he felt an overwhelming sense of fear of being here. If his father came back, he might get the same thing again. He had to get out of the kitchen- no. He had to get out of the house. His father would find him here and he didn’t want to know how much worse it could be.

                He frantically tried to get up. Well, it felt frantic, but it was mostly filled with pained grunts and shaking as he managed to somehow pull himself up by using the wall as a support.

                _I have to get out._

                He half stumbled, half limped to the door. He cracked the door open and peered outside to see if his father was anywhere to be seen, which he wasn’t, and then he stepped outside, closing the door quietly as possible behind him.

                 It was dark outside, he noticed. He didn’t know where to go.

                _Just not back inside_

                He actually didn’t want to be anywhere near here. Getting out his phone as he limped aimlessly down the sidewalk, he noted the time. 12:50. Kuroo would be asleep, probably. But he was the only option he had at the moment. He typed out a quick message.

                **To: Kuroo  
                can I come pve**

                He didn’t realize it, but his hands were shaking. He felt anxiety build in his chest and he tried to suppress it.

                **To: Kuroo  
                over* …**

                He didn’t expect an immediate reply, nor did he get one. He just kept limping down the sidewalk, thankful that there were no people about to ask him questions or call the police. He tried not to think about what had just happened, because if he did, he probably would have collapsed.

                A polite ding alerted him to a new message.

**(1)** **New Message.**

**From: Kuroo  
Yeah, sure. Sorry for the late reply are you okay?**

Kenma swallowed, feeling bad for having his friend worry over him.

**To: Kuroo  
i’m okay. i’ll be over in a little bit**

He got an immediate reply.

**From: Kuroo  
K. I’ll see you soon**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for self harm and anxiety  
> also sad kenma

                The world was completely spinning by the time Kenma reached Kuroo’s doorstep. At some point while making his way here he had realized he was bleeding from his face and it was sensitive to the touch. Swollen. 

                 He hadn’t made a plan for what he would tell Kuroo, but he knew that he didn’t want to tell the truth. Telling the truth would lead to the police, and telling the police would lead to an investigation, which would result in questions, which in turn would lead to Kenmas life being scrumbled to pieces even more than it already was. He could forget about last night if it meant that things could go back to normal eventually.

                He knocked gingerly on the door, it opened to his touch. Sighing in relief, Kenma stepped inside, closing the door quietly behind him. He was going to be okay.

                “…Kuroo?” He said, and winced at how his voice cracked. There was no answer, though.

                Kenma walked stealthily to the main room, where Kuroo was lying on the couch, head leaned back and snoring with the phone in his hand.

                Kenma hesitated. He didn’t want to wake his friend up. He had caused him enough trouble by keeping him up so late, and having his best friend see him like this… he didn’t know what would happen. He swallowed, turning away and walking down the hallway and taking a left.

                Once he was inside the bathroom, Kenma took a moment to take in the cool tiled floor and stillness of it. Leaning his back against the door, he closed his eyes and breathed in and out. If he stayed like this for a while, maybe his life would regain some stability. Just kidding.

                He opened his eyes and looked into the mirror. He felt something crumble inside of him.

                The left side of his face wasn’t too bad, aside from the long shallow scratch going across his cheek, and swelling was minimum… but as he reached down and lifted up his shirt, the red blotches he saw that were already beginning to turn purple told him he would feel a lot worse by tomorrow. He put his shirt back down before he could see the full extent of the damage. He just wanted to sleep.

                After limping back to the couch, Kenma noted that Kuroo had shifted and that he could easily curl into a ball at the end of the couch. Not that his body would let him do such a thing, but Kenma settled for sitting down anyway, leaning his head back to rest against the cushion. He was asleep within moments despite himself.

 

                He didn’t dream that night.

 

                When he awoke, the first thing he saw was Kuroos face.  He blinked the sleep from his eyes a few times, trying to recollect where he was.

                “Kenma,” Kuroo said, his voice low, “what happened to you?” Warning signals went off in Kenmas head.

                “I, uh…” his mouth was dry as the happenings of last night flashed through his head. He trailed off, eyes averting.

                “Tell me.”

                Kenmas eyes flitted to Kuroos for a moment, and then away. “It’s just a scratch is all. I got into an argument with my father, and I wanted to get out of the house.” He said simply, “Sorry for coming by so late,” he added. He wished he would have given more thought about what he would say to Kuroo last night.

                “He hit you?” Kuroo growled, and Kenma winced.

                “No- I mean, just once.” Kenma fiddled with his thumbs, “I… I deserved it, I was out of line. It’s okay.”

                Kuroo looked him up and down. He couldn’t see the bruises on his body but he knew Kenma well enough to realize he wasn’t getting the whole truth, and he wasn’t the type to settle until he got answers.

                Kenma turned to meet his eyes, “It’s fine, really.” He reassured.

                Kuroo’s eyes narrowed, “I don’t believe you,” he deadpanned.

                Not trying to show any signs of hurt, Kenma attempted to stand up. His body immediately seized up, but he moved anyway, ignoring the waves of pain radiating from his chest and stomach.

                Standing now, Kenma met Kuroo’s eyes, “See, I’m fine,”

                Kuroo swept his eyes over him once more, clicking his tongue, “So I guess that means you’re going to school today, then.”

                 _Fuck._  “I don’t have my clothes… “ he trailed off. They were back at his house.

                “We can walk over there and get them if-“

                “No!” Kenma shouted, holding up his hands. Kuroo’s eyes widened as he looked down at his friend. Kenma didn’t get this worked up over hardly anything.

                “…no?”

                “No, I mean… I don’t want to see my dad. He’s probably still mad at me.”

                “You guys have to make up some time.”

                 _Like that’s going to happen anytime soon_

“I will, eventually but… It’s too soon now. “

                “So, does that mean you’re not going to school?”

                Kenma fidgeted uneasily. If he said he wasn’t going to go to school then he’d have to ask Kuroo if he could stay at his house, or just wander around outside until he figured something out. Or go back to his house.  None of those seemed like good options.

                Kuroo sighed, running a hand through his mess of black hair, “You can stay here, if you want. I have to go to school either way.”

                Kenma lowered his head, “Thank you, Kuroo.”

                “Don’t mention it… I’m going to get ready for school now.”

                Kenma sat back down on the couch, closing his eyes again. But no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t drift back asleep. The sound of the door closing alerted him that Kuroo was gone, and suddenly, he felt very lonely.

                An hour or so passed and before the tired high school student had finally fallen back asleep, when his phone suddenly came to life, a cheery blipping tone alerting him that someone was calling him.

                He rubbed his eyes as he picked up the phone, putting it to his ear, “…hello?” he said.

                “Kenma!!” his mom’s voice could be heard on the other end.

                “Mother?” Kenma said, instantly awake.

                “Oh honey. You had me so worried when I came to the house this morning and you were gone.  And the mess! It was even worse than when I left it. Where are you? Are you okay?”

                Kenma swallowed, “I’m okay. I’m at a friend’s house. What happened yesterday?”

                Dead silence on the other side for so long that Kenma thought for a moment that maybe she had hung up by accident. Then she coughed, “It’s nothing honey! Your father and I just had a little argument. But… I think that we probably won’t be around each other for a while. Are you okay with staying at your friend’s house, or should I come pick you up?”

                 _She’s not even wondering why I’m not at school_

                “I’m fine here for now, I guess, but…”

                “Great! I’ll let you tough it out there for a while. You’re a strong kid, Kenma. Love you!”

                “Mom, I-“ Click. The conversation was over. Typical of his mother to redirect the conversation to where it was convenient for her. Kenma sighed, rubbing his eyes again. He wished he could redirect his life that way.

                For a while, Kenma simply laid down and stared at the ceiling. Eventually his stomach started growling, but he didn’t want to take any of Kuroo’s food unless he was there to give him permission and probably share it with him. He lifted himself up anyways, and shuffled to the bathroom. His body still hurt with each step, and he felt like it was even worse than the night before. Once inside the bathroom, he took his time in gently peeling off his clothing without looking in the mirror. He was still in the clothes he had changed into after practice, and he had to admit the smell was less than appealing.

                Once he was completely bare, Kenma surveyed himself more in the mirror. It was bad. There were two rather large purple blue markings along his chest and reaching down to his stomach, there were a couple smaller ones along his right side. “Small” was a bit of an understatement though. He wondered if he had any broken ribs, or internal bleeding.

                He didn’t realize he was digging his nails into his thighs until he dragged his eyes away from the mirror and looked down. He breathed in, and out, trying to steady his breath. But with each inhale he felt his anxiety bubble further and further up. He was crying, hot tears slipping down his face and nails scratching deeper and deeper until thin drops of blood beaded at the top and his hands were shaking from the grip. He didn’t know when but he eventually made his way to the shower, turning it on the hottest and crawling in until he was sitting on the floor. He continuously dug his nails into his skin, as if he were clinging to himself,

                Gradually, his grip loosened until his hands went limp. He didn’t move, simply let the water drip down him in streams. He felt like he was going to be sick, but he didn’t have anything to upchuck even if it came.  He closed his eyes, leaning back and letting himself try to be calm. _Think calm thoughts._  He wanted to die. He didn’t want to deal with this. What would he tell his friends? They already knew he couldn’t stand up for himself.  Where was he going to go after this? There was nowhere he could go where he wouldn’t be a bother.

                He opened his eyes and surveyed the damage he had done to his legs during his panic attack. It wasn’t that bad, you couldn’t do much with nails. There were red marks, but it wasn’t bleeding any more than the shower could wash away.

                Kenma lightly ran his hand over the new damage, and then less gently over the smooth lines from previous assaults on his skin.  He had never self-harmed dangerously, or without a little bit of control. As a kid that was prone to anxiety and fits of depression, it was a mean of calming himself down and coping. Nobody knew, of course. It was just coping. It wasn’t that bad.

                At least that’s what he told himself. But just now, overcome with emotion and fear, he hadn’t even realized what he was doing. And maybe he didn’t have as much control as he thought.

                He turned off the shower and got out. He shouldn’t waste Kuroo’s hot water, he’d be a bother. He always was.


	3. Chapter 3

                Kenma regarded the clothes he had left piled up on the floor with disgust. If only he had thought to bring some sort change of clean clothes over, but in his panic he hadn’t exactly had the clarity to think about it. He gingerly picked up his dirty baggy clothes and pulled them over his body. It felt gross to put on old clothes after taking a shower, but he didn’t have any options at the moment. Kuroo would probably come home later and then promptly kick him out ononce he saw how repulsive his demeanor was. He keenly averted his eyes from the mirror as he left the bathroom.

               Like two magnets drawn together by some unseen force, he was back on the couch and had fallen back asleep, his body curled into a small ball and his chest rising up and down slightly. Have a problem and stressed out? Just go to sleep. Anyone can forget about their problems with a short nap, admittedly if it was for a brief moment. Although Kenma was aware his stresses wouldn’t disappear when he woke up, he could always have a couple moments to recollect himself, right?

               As he slept, he was gradually enveloped into visions of glass and the blurry stench of alcohol. He saw his father, his clenched fists, felt the bruises like acid fire marked onto his body. He felt his father’s anger and his own confusion, and he heard his mother’s dismissive words in his head. They didn’t care about him. He wasn’t anything. Suddenly Kuroo was in the kitchen, looking down at him him, his face twisted in disgust as he shook his head before turning away. Kenma made an attempt to call out, but his ribs were broken glass and he was suddenly falling through the linoleum and you needed something to hold onto but everything was dark and you were falling, falling, falling.

                Kenma woke up with a start, breathing heavily and heart racing. Sweat was beaded on his forehead and palms, while he felt like his body was tingling with static. He reached up and tries to rub the images from his eyes using his hands, but it persists like a bad memory present in the back of his head. His heart was still beating hard.  _Take a deep breath._ He attempts to regulate his breathing, but it only continues to make him more aware of his pulse, which makes him dizzy. Running his tongue along the roof of his mouth, he notes that it feels like sandpaper and iron, and that he should drink something. He tried to stand up, only to feel a new wave of dizziness along with a pang of protest from his injuries. He wobbles slightly as he makes his way to the kitchen, where he shuffles through cupboards until he finds his salvation- a glass for the water holding affinity.

               Several moments later, Kenma is leaning against the counter, gulping down this third glass full of water. He found that his head started to clear after the second glass, but continued to drink more just in case.  Actually, he was probably just trying to drown himself. As he was filling up the fourth glass, he heard the front door open, and he turned around so fast that he felt a stabbing in his ribs again. He slowly approached the entryway and peaked towards the door. Kuroo was standing there, taking off his shoes. He was home already? Kenma bit at the inside of his cheek nervously. Exactly how long had he been asleep for? He could have sworn it had only been an hour or two. Kuroo sensed his lingering presence and looked up, regarding him curiously. Kenma met it with what he thought of as with much less intensity.

                “Hey. Practice was cancelled.” Kuroo said, nonchalantly walking past him and dumping his school bag on the table.

                “Oh, okay.” When he spoke it was with a hoarse tone, as if he hadn’t just drank six pints of water.  _Fuck._

                It didn’t slip past Kuroo’s attention either, although he didn’t mention it, he continued, “There’s supposed to be a storm rolling in soon that’s pretty nasty. Didn’t want to make people stick around after school for that.”

                “Okay.”

                “Did you eat anything? You don’t look so hot. I’m going to heat up some leftovers, want some?

                “Yeah, thank you.” Kenma mumbled, shuffling over and sitting at the table, picking at the skin on his thumbnails as he looked down

                A silence followed that was only accompanied by the occasional noise that came from Kuroo preparing food and setting it onto plates. Soon they were both sitting at the table, both of them unsure of what to say to the other.

                Kuroo was the first to break the silence, “You have to tell me what’s going on.”

                Kenma tensed, unready for the flurry of questions that would surely follow if he wasn’t careful. “I already did,” he replied carefully

                “I know it wasn’t everything,” Kuroo countered.

                “Please don’t make me talk about it.” Kenma’s words were fragile, like a simple breeze could bring him crumbling. He could feel Kuroo’s eyes piercing him as he looked down at his food, refusing to meet his gaze. They fell into silence again.

                The steady drone of rain could be heard from outside. Kenma focused on his plate.

                “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

                Kenma shook his head. He had no idea what he  _could_ do, let alone what he _should_ , and it made him anxious. He wasn’t used to not having options or not being able to think something out due to being genuinely afraid. He didn’t want to go back to his father’s house, and he didn’t think his mother was particularly worried about anything. Either way, she wouldn’t try contacting for another couple of days or up to a week from now. He felt his stomach start turning.

                “You can stay here for however long you need, you know. But you have to go back to school.” Kuroo’s words didn’t shock Kenma, but he found himself relaxing as he took in the gravity of what his friend was saying. At least he had someone he could rely on. He noted that the rain started falling heavier as it was gradually becoming accompanied by a wind that took on the volume of a quiet roar.

                “Kuro… thank you.” He looked up to meet his friends gaze, and offered a small smile.

Kuroo returned it with a wave of his hand, “Don’t sweat it.”

               A more relaxed air settled between them as they finished the last of their food, and the wind grew louder outside as the storm progressed. When they were finished, Kuroo took out his homework and told him that he had grabbed Kenma’s homework as well so that he wouldn’t be behind when he got back. Kenma thanked him and they sat down to get it started.  Even though Kenma had missed a day while Kuroo had not, he found it pretty easy while he offered his friend some help with his own. While he had his head down in his own work, however, he kept noticing in the corner of his eye that Kuroo was looking at him, but when lifted his head towards him, his friend quickly looked back down on at his own paper. Kenma anxiously started biting at his cheeks again, fidgeted with his pencil more. He tried to ignore it, but when it happened again and he looked up, Kuroo didn’t look away this time. They stared at a few heartbeats before Kenma said something.

               “…what is it?”

               “You know you can trust me, Kenma.”

               His heart skipped a couple beats.  _Please just drop it_

               “I know it wasn’t just a little argument you had with your dad last night.”

_Fuck_. Kenma looked down. He didn’t want Kuroo to know how weak he was and how royally screwed he was going to be. He didn’t want to lose his friend.

               His anxious reaction didn’t slip past Kuroo’s eyes, either. “See, something’s up. You can tell me, I promise I won’t do anything to hurt you.”

               “I don’t know,” Kenma mumbled.

               “Do you not trust me?” Kuroo says, and as Kenma looked up and regards him carefully. His friend doesn’t look hurt or offended, rather he looked confident; as if he knew that Kenma would give in.

               “I can’t.”

                Kuroo faltered slightly, his shoulders drooping ever so little and a frown creasing the edge of his mouth, “Just answer me one thing, did he hurt you more than you’re letting on?”

                Kenma opens his mouth to answer, but before he could say anything that would dig him into a deeper hole, the lights started flickering. His mouth slowly closed, and the pair of them both looked up, and the lights flickered once, twice more before the entire house lost its power.  They were cloaked in immediate darkness.

                “Shit,” Kuroo said.

They both rose at the same time, arms extended and hands looking for a phone or switch or anything that would give them light. Instead of finding anything useful however, they bumped into each other, Kenma letting out an audible “oof” as his aching bruises were bumped against.

                “Sorry,” Kurroo mumbled, his voice coming from right next to him.

                “Its alri- ah!” Kenma gasped as lightning cracked, illuminating the entire house for a brief second and giving Kenma a miniature heart attack. He grasped onto the nearest thing, which happened to be his best friend’s shirt.

                “Well, well, well. I never took you as the cuddly type.” Kuroo joked, and Kenma could almost see him smirking through the darkness even though it was pitch black. The heat of embarrassment that raced over him was enough to shake off his panic as he separated himself from his best friend.

                Kenma quickly changed the subject, “We have to figure out how we’re going to see. Do you have any candles we could light?”

                “That’s pretty romantic of you, I like that. Actually, I have these beautiful rose petal scented candles in the closet, give me one second darling.” Kenma rolled his eyes, turning  around to try to find his phone while Kuroo disappeared to find something else.  He was probably joking about the rose petal candles, but he most likely had something back there.

               More than a few moments later, Kuroo came shuffling out of a back room. Kenma’s eyes had slightly adjusted to the darkness, and he could make out various containers in his arms.

               “Please don’t tell me those are actually scented candles.” Kenma said in disbelief.

               “Do you think I would lie to you?” He said, setting them on the table and taking out a lighter Kenma could only guess he had pulled out of thin air. He then proceeded to light three different candles of different scents, and what did Kenma know, rose petal was among them. He shook his head in exasperation as he made his way over to Kuroo.

               “How long did they say the storm would last?” Kenma asked.

               “It’s supposed to last for a while. It’ll die down sometime tonight according to the news cast.”

               Kenma nodded, unsure what to say next. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

               “You can borrow some of my clothes tonight, I have some stuff that will probably be baggy on you, but that’s sort of your style so I guess it’s alright with you?”

               “Thanks,” Kenma thought briefly of replying with something flirtily like Kuroo had done earlier, try to get him to feel embarrassed like he had, but he had the feeling that it would not have the same effect that it had on himself. Instead, he said that he was going to go change if that was okay, and took a candle to Kuroo’s room so that he could avoid bumping into things more.

               As he approached the dresser Kuroo had directed him to, he noted that the older boy was rather messy in terms of organization. He managed to pick out a faded black t shirt which he slipped over his head, and attempted to put on a pair of sweatpants without any luck. They were too loose on his small frame. Kenma looked down at the…damage, on his thighs. He didn’t know what to do. It was possible that Kuroo would notice if he slept in a t-shirt and boxers, and would point it out. On the other hand, it was dark enough so that if he was careful, his friend probably wouldn’t. Lucky for him, the shirt was baggy enough so that he didn’t have to worry about much else showing. Kurroo came in that second, another candle in hand.

               He didn’t notice Kenma’s injuries as he set down the candle on a small table near his bed. “I’m pretty tired; we can share a bed if you want, by the way. It doesn’t really matter to me.” As he started changing out of his day clothes and into ones more suitable for sleeping, Kenma nodded. He was beginning to feel drowsy himself, even though he hadn’t done much today other than sleep, and he was pretty sure it was only around 8pm. He was slightly afraid of having nightmares and waking up Kuroo too, so he considered sleeping on the couch. Or maybe he'd just avoid sleeping altogether.

               As he was considering his options, Kuroo was rolling into bed already, and Kenma frowned. He put out the candle he had lit and eased inside next to his friend. The bed was large enough so that they weren’t pressed together, and they had shared a bed many times before, but something was different about this time. There was a feeling in the air that was almost like…tension? It made his heart beat faster, and as he looked at Kuroos back from where he was lying down, he couldn’t help but feel extremely glad that he had him in his life. He was his only friend for a long time, and even though Kenma originally thought that they were only friends because they lived in the same neighborhood and went to the same school, he realized now that they were so much closer than that. He closed his eyes with his hands beneath his head and slowly let sleep wash over him. Even if everything continued to wrong, he would still have his friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm very sorry for the long wait for this chapter! some pretty bad stuff happened last year around the time i published the second chapter, and the following months were very hard, but i'm recovering from what happened gradually. that being said, i wasn't in a good place to do any writing at that time. however, I hope to use writing as an outlet now and maybe help get some gross feelings out. it felt awesome to write this chapter, even though it's pretty choppy. i appreciate all of the comments and kudos i received while i was gone!! (: thank you guys

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever fanfiction!! if you let me know what you think that would be super cool


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